21F here… I’ve been struggling with sadness and shit for awhile now and I don’t really have a support system. My family doesn’t believe in mental health (they’re Arab lol) and when I’d try to tell them I’m stressed they would just turn it around and blame me so I can’t talk to them about anything. My past relationship with my dad is also playing a big role in why I feel the way I do at times because it wasn’t the best in the past and it was physical at times and we wouldn’t talk for a long time while living under the same roof so i feel like I’m just this big mess of confusion and social anxiety and i lack the feeling of being loved and cared for. Me and my bf broke up recently (4.5 month of knowing him) but we were so close and he means so much to me, it was a mistake I made that caused us to split (we’re still good friends and hangout here n there but we are long distance of 7.5 hr drive). I feel like this breakup made me feel 100x worse because I literally can’t picture them out of my life and it fucking shatters me. They are long distance for another year but I would’ve waited. I care so much and I just feel like my life is this cycle of meeting people and then they are memories and I hate it so much. I never liked a guy the way I liked him because I never trust anyone like that. But he’s different. I think that’s what’s fucking killing me even more. I just feel like I have no one, no friends, no one to go out and do stuff with. It fucking sucks and I sometimes wish I wasn’t here anymore but I know life is worth living.