• 2 Posts
  • 5 Comments
Joined 2 months ago
Cake day: March 6th, 2025
  • canadianchik@lemm.eeOPtodepression_now!@lemmy.world•What do I do when it gets to a point where I just wanna dissapearEnglish
    0·
    14 hours ago

    Thank you for this thoughtful message Elwin (if that’s ur name). Sorry if not. It is really hard. I know I’m not the only one going through this. I know time heals. That’s why I feel like I have high functioning depression because I know the good times will come, I know life gets better, I am aware of these things but deep down I still feel like utter crap. Not all the time though. I think what hurts me the most in life is not being able to talk to my parents about stuff, especially my dad. I always felt lack of love from him and I know his and I’s relationship wasn’t the greatest but my heart genuinely shatters so hard when I see how well he gets along or the “I love you’s” he and my siblings say back and fourth. I sometimes wish me and his bond was like that but the main thing I feel from him is being scared of him and I feel guilty that I feel that way but i know it’s not my fault. With the ex, we are still good friends but I genuinely can’t help but just want him to myself. I honestly told him this today and I feel bad for being so attached. I wish I can win him back so I prove to him so much things. I made a dumb mistake and I know he’s not mad at me about it anymore but I guess part of me is in denial. It’s honestly hurts at like nearly but not rlly the same level of when me and my ex years ago broke up. I was crushed. That relationship honestly took me like 2 years to fully get over but this one hurt so much and I think it’s because I never thought I’d like someone again, I talked to guys but they were all fuckboys, and if they weren’t, I genuinely just couldn’t fall in love. But this guy I did. Now I’m crushed.

  • canadianchik@lemm.eeOPtodepression_now!@lemmy.world•how can I start feeling better for good?English
    0·
    1 day ago

    Thank you for this. This is like how I feel everyday, like just getting up and going about my day is rewarding to me because I lack that motivation at times. It’s weird and funny because I have motivation to do certain things at times, I’m in nursing school and I love it and I’m on a break before we start again but I want to start again because now I just have nothing to do and I’m spiralling. I will be spending a lot of time alone the next 2 weeks though, I enjoy being alone but not always. I think my biggest struggle is the friends aspect, I have like one main friend but sometimes it doesn’t feel like she’s actually there you know? Sometimes it feels like a relationship just for fun and stuff but I know it’s not that. But I don’t feel like I can really talk to anyone about my problems without coming off as stress to them or a burden, and I don’t want to lose anyone because of this u know. And I don’t want to take a break from him because I love being around him, we game and talk and it’s nice. He’s a great guy. I know I will learn to slowly detach my emotions which is good as we broke up and stuff (it was only like 4.5 months) but I did get very attached and still am. He means a lot to me but I hurt him and I have to live with that. Shit happens I guess. I’m just tiredddd of trying to be something I’m not and act like everything’s okay. I will start journaling more, I did start in February, only wrote two pages and never touched it again. But I do remember it being nice .

  • canadianchik@lemm.eeOPtodepression_now!@lemmy.world•how can I start feeling better for good?English
    0·
    1 day ago

    I only have like one friend here and her parents r strict like she’s lucky to go out like for 2 nights which we just did and we just got back today so I wish. My parents also wouldn’t be the happiest with that but wouldn’t say no if I had everything planned and had people to go with. I’m Arab so my parents are a bit more like on the stricter side of who I go out with and stuff but not as hard