The fediverse is small, and thats both a blessing and a curse - one of its several blessings is that in a smaller space we all individually have a bigger impact on what the culture of this space is like.
On this comm (and on lemmy broadly) there’s a lot of discussion about how to grow the fediverse, what to improve, but an easy thing you can do for the fediverse is right in front of us-
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Be kind
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Ask people what they think, and why
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Approach folks you disagree with with curiosity rather than hostility (EDIT: no, this is not specifically referring to Nazis. I get it, they’re the first thing that comes to mind. I’m not telling you to approve of Nazis I’m just saying be kind to your fellow lemmites)
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Engage sincerely
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Ask yourself if there’s something nice you can say
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Make this small space worth being in
A platform lives or dies by what’s available on said platform and often we have this conversation in the context of “content” or posts - and we may never have as much content as reddit does. But content and posts aren’t the only thing this kind of platform offers- it also offers people. It offers community, and human interaction.
Culture and community is lemmy and the fediverse’s biggest differentiator, and we all have a role to play in shaping the culture of this space.
The biggest thing you can do to help the fediverse is make it a place worth being.
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I disagree with your premise.
It should be “The best thing that you can do for humanity is to be kind”.
Seriously. We’re living in a time when fascism is in an upswing and at least one religious leader has publicly called empathy a sin. Kindness and empathy are rebellious acts.
Here are some more specific examples to think about!
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Compliment people’s art and ask about their process
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Teach people about something you’re knowledgeable on
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Give constructive criticism on peoples projects when it’s welcome
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Thank people for posting things you’re glad you got to see, tell them you enjoyed it
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Tell people you’re glad they’re here
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Tell people you hope they have a good day
Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts :) if you have thoughts of your own, I’d love to hear them!
I’m not one for religion, but I for one would like to join the Church of Cris.
Have a great day :)
Thank you! You too 😊
Are you open to some additional thoughts / feedback on feedback / constructive criticism?
I am! Thank you for asking :)
Ive gotten a lot of assumptions about what I meant and that’s a bit frustrating but I really value honest sincere dialogue, if you have thoughts you think would be worth sharing I’d love to hear them my friend!
I thought I had hit reply on your other comment going into more detail (whoops!).
Like I did in this example, ask if people are open to feedback (if you’re the one giving it).
Often when I am training groups on how to work together, I always try and frame feedback as a gift.
If someone is giving you feedback, they are genuinely trying to help you grow - and that’s a gift. The issue here though, is not everyone is a good gift giver - and we can’t control that.
What we do have control over is how we recieve gifts - often all you need to do is say thank you. Don’t explain why you’re not going to use this feedback (if you plan not to incorporate it). Other than clarifying the feedback to better understand how to incorporate it, saying thank you is the best way to go about it.
As far as delivering feedback I always say “if you can choose to be anything in this world why choose anything other than kind.”
It is important to state that “being kind” doesn’t mean not having the difficult conversations or delivering difficult feedback - you can still do that without being cruel. Being assertive isn’t being aggressive.
A bit rambly but if you’re ever working with folx on delivering feedback, I’ve found that presenting these frameworks with it ste super helpful
On constructive criticism - definitely rule one is make sure that it’s invited first, but second, the best way to “sweeten” a critique and make it more appealing is to put it between compliments. Don’t have a bare remark about the problems or suggestions, tell them what you like first, then how they might change things, and then close with something else positive or simply thanking them for sharing it. Even if someone says they want to hear what people think, it’s normal to be defensive, so help lower that reaction first, and then leave them feeling appreciated even though you pointed out issues you saw.
Absolutely agree, some folks just wanna share, some folks wanna get constructive crit to try and technically improve! Its important to be respectful of what kind of interaction folks are looking for :)
And absolutely, talking about both good and bad doesn’t just make it less unpleasant or more enjoyable to get feedback, it also makes better, more helpful feedback! (Assuming that’s a thing they’re looking for)
Aka the compliment sandwich. A technique I personally dislike. Be honest and open with your feedback in a positive way, don’t try to hide it between compliments. If your feedback is simply negative, keep it to yourself.
I agree it can be used fallaciously, often found in the business world. My point was to include both good and bad honestly and not hide it, and people won’t shut down if they get the good first. It also depends on the subject - if they’re on the right track and your suggestion leads to better results, that’s not as negative as telling someone they’re doing something incorrectly and offering a different way.
In the end, how you say things is just as important as what is said.
100% agreed. If I see a compliment sandwich, I assume that the person using the technique is lying about the compliments and I lose all respect for them.
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There was a movement in the blogging community ~15 years ago to leave positive comments on posts you like. It was an approach to conquer negative comments and a general destructive nature of online conversations. I still do it to this day. If I really like something or appreciate someone’s work, I leave a nice comment.
Oh neat, being younger there’s a lot of how folks approached the web in its earlier years that I don’t have any experience with, and think there’s a lot to learn from
I love that!
A nice comment is worth more than 1000 upvotes, emotionally.
It’s extremely hard to be charitable online, when you have instances like these:
- https://map-wiki.com/index.php/List_of_active_instances_of_map_fediverse
- https://wiki.yesmap.net/wiki/Pediverse
- https://fediverse.wiki/wiki/Poast
- https://truthsocial.com/
I’m sorry that I cannot “be kind” to the intolerant.
retail middle management vibes
@Cris_Color A lot of people mistake kind for being fake and not ever expressing disagreement, but doing so neuters what is in my view one of the most valuable aspects of these federated social media, the potential for opposing view points to be expressed and then discussed and hopefully some mutually beneficial solutions that accommodate both sides of an opposing viewpoint can be arrived at. That can’t happen unless an environment is safe and inviting and people can act in a civilized manner.
I’ve noticed most discussions i have here end with a LOT less anger and a LOT more learning and that makes me happy.
Fuck yeah! I think that’s the thing that makes the fediverse special :)
We all care enough about the online spaces we choose to inhabit that we leave the big platforms for something kinder. I think that’s worth leaning into :)
100%
Internet by the people, and for the people, truly.
Because there’s fewer foreign bots trying to make you hate everyone in your country, and fewer social media engagement bots trying to make sure you stay online arguing with someone.
Great post.
To add to this, not resorting to calling others tankies or Russian bots when you have differing opinions, especially around politics.
1 billion percent agree, not everyone you disagree with is acting in bad faith
when you’re dealing with fundamentalists or extremists things turn nasty very quickly because you’re questioning their fantasy world
doesn’t matter if they’re good or bad faith, often they will just ban you
Nah fuck tankies, zero tolerance for the intolerant.
My biggest worry on Lemmy is actually bots and Russian psy ops though. If centralized reddit couldn’t stop them before misinformation spread, how is Lemmy supposed to?
Instance admins have pretty good information at their disposal to identify bots.
I have yet to see any instance admin say that there is any significant amount of bots, outside of the occasional spate of spamming. I only see such theories & accusasions come from non-admins, with no accompanying compelling evidence.
well the good news is that everybody - and that includes the US - creates psyops all the time, so that makes it fair.
This is Eglin Air Force Base checking in. 
Most addicted city (over 100k visits total)
Eglin Air Force Base, FL
Oak Brook, IL
South St. Paul, MN?
What I’m saying is that Reddit is packed with US government psyop coming from Eglin AFB https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eglin_Air_Force_Base#Department_of_Defense
I’ve had the thought that if I were to design a psyop campaign, a pretty solid option for dominating the discussion would be to come out swinging and accuse everyone else of being an agent. That way, people have to either constantly defend against accusations, or they conclude, rightly, the accusations are baseless and decide to disregard the very idea that there is a psyop going on.
I could be wrong but to me it feels odd to think lemmy is big enough to be worth organizing psyops for.
Not to say it couldn’t be an issue in the future, but it feels much more likely that people expressing pro Russia sentiment are just people who bought into that particular brand of propaganda.
Which like, to some extent all of our individual world views are shaped by the environment of propaganda we’re exposed to. We’re all products of our social conditioning, and ultimately that’s exactly what propaganda is. Media designed to socially condition people to a certain set of beliefs. All we as individuals can do is be aware of it and be willing to look at our own beliefs critically.
But at the end of the day I think the folks praising Russia on lemmy are just people. People I personally think are misguided, but I don’t think theyre generally acting in bad faith any more than the general population here.
At the minimum it’s worth harvesting posts, and hacķing servers to link ip addresses to those posts. That’s just one officer being assigned to the newborn Lemmy division with a couple thousand for hardware.
Honestly if anyone is doing that I really feel like it would be the US, not Russia.
Russia’s goal is to sew discord and unballance the populace that drives politics, and for that to work you need a MASSIVE scale that we just don’t really have. They don’t really have much to gain from the IP addresses of a handful of leftists
But Lemmy is exactly the kind of hotspot for people DEEPLY angry about the government of the US to organize that if we’re big enough to be on their radar, the US government would have a vested interest in keeping an eye on potential dissidents. Unlike Russia IP addresses and personally identifiable information would be useful to them, in identifying threat actors, tracking their activity and volatility online, and building cases that would allow them to prosecute should said dissidents escalate
That’s how it looks from where I’m standing anyway 🤷♂️
I came to Lemmy (lemm.ee originally) with this attitude. Tankies really made me regret trying to be sympathetic too them. It was the most vile interaction I’ve had on the Internet maybe? You shouldn’t call people tankies if they’re not but real tankies are by far the biggest problem with the fediverse and it’s growth
yeah i’ve met some thorough tankies recently and wow are they annoying. just completely blind to reality.
Lemmy.ml and lemmy.world are infested with tankies though. It is probably going to make me leave Lemmy. I’ve already started to discourage people in my life from joining because of how bad political and technological communities are. A lot of other communities are just empty.
Lol. How fucking faaaaar right do you have to be to consider .world tankie.
Oh and I keep getting comments removed by mods just for calling out a tankie, but sure lemmy.world isn’t infested with y’all.
If you’re getting comments removed from .world of all places, it’s not because you’re “calling out a tankie”, that’s for sure. I’m assuming it’s more “screeching at a socdem”.
Also, what do you mean “y’all”? We Already established by your own definition that I’m not a tankie. Unless you’re just giving up the pretense that it’s not just a meaningless snarl word you fling at anyone to the left of you.
Not really. I gave sources of Ukrainian genocide, and it got removed. Y’all in the general sense, if you dont identify as a tankie, great. Maybe stop taking the bait then? Doesn’t feel like it from where I’m standing though.
I gave sources of Ukrainian genocide, and it got removed.
Why was it removed.
if you dont identify as a tankie, great.
Nah, that’s not it, it’s that I don’t fit the definition of tankie that you yourself articulated.
Doesn’t feel
Yes, I was already pretty convinced that who you call a tankie is entirely based on “feeling”
Dunno, ask the mod who removed it. I gave a very, very basic definition and you’re acting like it can’t be expanded upon or further elaborated. How very rigid of you. So, I have actual work to go do, in my community, helping others and practicing the ideals that I preach. Good luck not doing any of that here 👍
By the way, if the word tankie offends you so much, it might be because you have more in common than you’d like.
Keep spouting that tankie rhetoric. “Anyone who calls me out for my similarities to MAGA surely are the far right ones!” Lmao
Least incoherent anti-communist
1,400+ comments in 3 months. You do nothing in the real world. Terminally online. Your ideals are performative and you’re here sowing dissent in leftist circles. That’s exactly what tankies do.
Lol, I can see why even .world doesn’t want you.
No refutations. Got it.
On Reddit, I once bragged about having universal healthcare and got called a Nazi and a communist at the same time.
This is what happens when Xbox kids that use the n-word grow up. They learn new “bad” words and throw them around out of context and contradictingly. They don’t actually know what those things are, though, so it never makes sense.
I’ve been called a tankie here. I didn’t know what it was and looked it up, just to discover it was the literal opposite of the things I was saying. I was very confused and just put it down to frustrated self-projection. At some point they had been called that, it upset them, so now they use it to upset people too but they still don’t actually know what it is they’re saying.
If I see someone defaulting to Russian bot or tankie, I’ve found another Xbox kid and it’s in my best interests to just move on.
Sometimes they literally just are. Not seen it on Lemmy but on Reddit I definitely interacted with users, age under 1 year, all suspiciously pro-Putin. It’s rare and I’m looking for it, but still.
It’s not rare at all. These people are massive contributers to political/tech communities, thousand plus posts in a year. You’ll see them spamming posts about Israel, denying genocide in Ukraine, and misreprsenting to outright lying if you call them on it. All over lemmy.world and lemmy.ml.
It’s rare and I’m looking for it
Unfortunately not that rare of a POV to find. They just generally don’t do the young account thing. Some are true believers. Others likely state actors. Don’t see as many bots but the greater levels of transparency and lower active population probably makes it less worthwhile of an investment.
Instructions unclear. Here is your personal info:
Name: Christopher “Chris” Alan Whitmore Date of Birth: July 12, 1993 Age: 31 Gender: Male Address: 4279 Elmridge Avenue, Boulder, CO 80301 Phone Number: (720) 555-3942 Email: cwhitmore93@gmail.com Alternate Email: c.a.whitmore@outlook.com Social Media:
Instagram: @chris.the.moose
IP Address: 73.164.202.147 ISP: Xfinity by Comcast Router Name: WhitNet_5G Router Password: MooseTracks2020!
Education:
Fairview High School, Boulder, CO (Graduated 2011)
University of Colorado Boulder – B.S. in Computer Science (Graduated 2015)
Employment:
2016–2019: IT Support Specialist at Techfinity Solutions
2019–Present: Systems Analyst at VantaByte Technologies, Boulder, CO
Known Devices:
MacBook Pro (M1, 2020) – Chris’s-MBP.local
iPhone 13 – Chrissy’s iPhone
iPad Air – MoosePad
Gaming Handles:
Steam: WhitMoose93
Discord: MooseMan#4491
Xbox Live: WhitByte93
Observations:
Favorite coffee order: Iced caramel macchiato, oat milk
Has a rescue husky named “Niko”
Drives a black 2018 Subaru Outback with a “Hack the Planet” bumper sticker
Frequently shops at: Micro Center, REI, Whole Foods
Sure! Here’s an expanded version of the fictional profile for Chris Whitmore, now including made-up family member names, relationships, and contact info — all entirely fictional and consistent with the character:
Family Members:
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Mother Name: Diane Marie Whitmore (née Larkin) Age: 58 Occupation: High School English Teacher (Retired) Location: Fort Collins, CO Phone: (970) 555-1837 Email: dwhitmore.teacher@gmail.com
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Father Name: Alan David Whitmore Age: 61 Occupation: Mechanical Engineer at Apex Industrial (Semi-retired) Location: Fort Collins, CO Phone: (970) 555-1836 Email: alan.whitmore@apexengineers.com
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Sister Name: Emily Paige Whitmore Age: 27 Occupation: Graduate Student, Psychology, University of Oregon Location: Eugene, OR Phone: (541) 555-2249 Email: em.whitmore.psych@gmail.com Instagram: @empaige_
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Uncle Name: Gerald “Jerry” Larkin Age: 55 Occupation: Owner of Larkin’s Auto & Tire Location: Longmont, CO Phone: (303) 555-7993 Email: jlarkin.autoshop@gmail.com
I have successfully sent 132 death threats in total to you and your family members.
disclaimer
please mods this whole thing is a joke
It was evidently a joke, ffs why is it necessary to explain this?
Sure! Here’s an expanded version of the fictional profile for Chris Whitmore, now including made-up family member names, relationships, and contact info — all entirely fictional and consistent with the character:
You forgot to remove that part of the LLM response…
oops
Is the joke supposed to be that you’re pretending to dox me instead of being kind…? You spelled my name wrong 😅
yes
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ngl this is such a toxic community. The Nazi thing is definitely part of the problem – we live in an age of “soft fascism” so of course we have our fists up and we see nazis everywhere. Honestly I think most of the nazis are on twitter or truth social though, they don’t come to lemmy so much. Hmm, don’t assume that someone espousing an (1) conservative-looking belief is a nazi maybe?
A lot of people dive in as if the entire fediverse has the same level of nerve as 4chan.
There are a lot of sensitive people here. The best thing I learned through my dealings with Mastodon is to be kind, and lurk before hitting that comment button.
The level of discord on the fediverse waxes and wanes depending where you are. There are conversations I’d never have here, that I’d gladly have elsewhere with no ill effects. The right words for the right group of people.
“Sensitive” people can be really toxic too. Some people just enjoy being outraged.
This place is becoming very Reddit, if you post anything that deviates from someone’s beliefs they call you names and insult your intelligence. So many people can’t have a debate or discussion without jumping to personal attacks and hate. It’s really disheartening. I love political debate but there’s no such thing anymore, only name calling
Also try to post stuff. I need to follow my own advice more.
Baby steps! :) I found it helped me build the habbit if I kept an eye out for posts that could be cross posted to smaller more niche communities
There are a lot of times where a post only gets posted on a bigger community because it has enough traffic, and smaller niche communities would benefit from folks crossposting it around!
Yeah all good advice!
And not just memes and shitposts you find elsewhere
Make things and share
It ain’t gonna be perfect but that’s half the fun
Give quiche a chance.
Hey thanks, I appreciate your post :)
