Pink noise sounds soothing.

“You first.” 🤷‍♂️

“I’m not looking for a family here. I never was. Thank you for the invitation, but no.”

It could be that simple.

It seems to me that by speaking up when you’re still calm, you can avoid erupting at an inopportune moment and causing the huge scene that might worry you.

I used to feel terrified about how people judged me–for good reason, based on how people treated me when I was young. Eventually, I grew utterly exhausted from trying to please everyone, after which it became much easier to speak up for myself.

Now I find it easy to offer a cheery “No, thanks” while acting like it’s perfectly normal and leaving the other person to be confused and to deal with it.

I wish you peace as you work towards finding your voice.

“I’m not interested. Please leave me alone.”

I have a big chosen family, including people who feel like children, and even grandchildren. I don’t believe that a blood relation would make that any richer an experience for me.

I wish you continued good luck in this regard.

I don’t live in a shithole, so nothing.

I’m happy with Kakoune, but when I start to want more, Helix is high on my of editors to learn.

There is no ideal place to work where they “do it right”, whatever kind of “right” you care about right now. When you change jobs, you merely exchange one set of problems for another.