Might be a good idea to state your country. AFAIK, PayPal has no fees at all in my country, I assumed it was the same everywhere.
Can you get another bank account and card with no overdraft, and keep its balance near zero when not using it? When you buy, transfer the amount to the card and use it in whatever sketchy site you like. As long as its zero balance the rest of the time its relatively safe.
Opening a new account should be relatively quick, even if you don’t get your card. So create a new account, and transfer most of your money into it. Buy the item with your current card.
Fwiw, even without 3d secure, eBay is pretty safe to use, they are a huge corporation, and they know how to safely do transactions.