The Assman

My pixel 4 I bought used years ago is still fine

Member when you went to specific websites for specific content to amuse yourself, instead of trawling one of five garbage dumps to find something interesting to look at

The toaster oven I just invented works much better than a traditional one. It reheats French fries perfectly, you can dehydrate in it, makes succulent roasted chicken, and about 2.5% of the time it burns down your house. You’ll always need to keep an eye on it to make sure that doesn’t happen. Remember though, much better than a traditional one.

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I was literally in a CAVE the other day and I looked up and saw “under video surveillance”. You can’t even escape it 100 meters under the earth.

Yes it was a privately owned attraction. That’s not an excuse.

We switched from Kroger to a couple of international groceries. It’s hit and miss quality wise, but this way I’m only supporting at most a handful of greedy shitbags.