• misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    21 hours ago

    One time a vegan saw me accidentally swallow a bug. They got super violent and tried killing me with their birkenstocks. Luckily they cried so hard they had an aneurysm right then and there. Everyone, cows chickens and humans, clapped at my bravery. The CEO of Tyson saw this and made me his protege and sole heir. Eat meat and avoid fruit juice guys, it worked for me.