I was thinking of making one, but I’m not a woman, so I’ll think of something else
Why you want to create division?
Even if not, you can create one :3
Lemmy has an undeniable woman problem that it carried over from Reddit. I’ve lost count of the number of pathetic blokes that I have blocked on here for anti feminism.
yep it’s pretty horrible. any time gender issues are brought up there’s dozens of comments saying “what about the men” and completely missing the point
What about the me
You can’t spell me with me.
wat
Get in the robot, Shinji
As a guy, I do recognise that men are disadvantaged in many areas and need to be put on equal footing with women-- like courts disproportionately award custody of children to mothers, regardless of how unfit the mother is to be a caregiver. But broadly speaking from my pespective, women are still at more disadvantage. I used to live in a bad part of my city for many years and have had little to no issues. However, it is a different story from women I spoke who got harrased, and another hit on the head. They said they will avoid going to the city ever again. I remember sharing the accounts of these women to other men, and the men were surprised because their experience is the complete opposite. Women are still seen as weak. And in the corporate hierarchy, men (of tall statures) disproportionately make up the board of directors and executive roles.
yep. the difference is, when women have been disadvantaged they tend to create spaces and pathways to talk about or change it. unfortunately a lot of men tend to isolate, even though they are not alone. then when they see something about a women receiving help through programs created by women for women their feelings of being abandoned by the system come up again. it’s just another way that toxic masculinity hurts everyone. the fix for that is of course feminism, but it’s a pretty massive barrier for most men to accept that.
The court thing is not universally true. I worked in a family law firm for several years, and the practice in the courts here is to start from a baseline of equal custody and placement, and I’ve heard the same about other states. The men who lost out were the ones who wouldn’t fight, because they were convinced that the courts were biased. But hell, in one case, we got full custody and placement for a guy whose son wasn’t even biologically his! (His wife cheated, and he didn’t find out until well after they’d emotionally bonded.)
Man, I have been in SO MANY internet arguments where I am simultaneously arguing against a woman that yes, men have problems, while also arguing against a man that no, those problems are not worse on the whole than women have.
Back when the whole “bear in the woods” thing was going around misogynists would try to jump in and support me.
Woman: “all men are rapists”
Me: “that’s insulting and hurtful and misandrist, and also not even close to true”
Misogynist: “Yeah! And also women are heartless bitches!”
Me: “I don’t remember asking YOU a goddamn thing”
deleted by creator
The response to “what about men” comments is, we’re already talking about men when we talk about misogyny. Misandry and misogyny are the exact same problem, strictly enforced gender roles. If you deviate, you are punished. The men that are caregivers are derided just like the women that refuse to rear children. Every other related paradigm punches down into the people who do not conform. Stoicism in men, histrionics in women.
Either is a foil for the other and it’s exactly the same bullshit.
100%
It’s really bad and lemmy is really in denial.
Sexism here is much worse than it was on Reddit.
It feels like 2008 Reddit here sexism wise, except instead of Ron Paul libertarians tooting their horns everywhere we have heavy tracked vehicle enthusiasts.
I did hope lemmy having a left leaning culture would help but it does not.
Oh yea? One time I got kicked in the balls and it kinda hurt. Women have it soooo easy.
Alas I have been show to be wrong! If not for my womanly ways I would have been the wiser!
Some instances have a left-leaning culture. Lemmy.world definitively does not.
I mean if you use the Marxist/Leninist definition of left then obviously not. But I mean left leaning in terms of the societal understanding.
Try making any post that focuses on situations uniquely or disproportionally experienced by women and you get mostly “what about men” or “men have it worst” responses.
that’s kind of just how controversial things are on the internet though.
Evens shitposting from men will get similar responses from women, it’s just how it is now. Sort of always has been.
Yep. Picking the bear.
what if im the bear?
Nah but have you ever considered that the reason that you think that there is a male loneliness epidemic is because nobody wants to hang out with insufferable misogynists?
no, i don’t think that’s a reasonable answer, because you’re doing the fascist thing of “these people are wrong they need to change, and if they don’t we can justify whatever shitty behavior we want, because we’re morally superior”
It’s not dissimilar to a lot of nazi rhetoric.
I think the problem ultimately stems from a disconnect in social development through out society. Feminism has pushed women forward, successfully in a lot of ways, but it has also pulled men back, in a lot of ways, that’s not necessarily bad, but there is now a void there, and there is nothing filling it in, that’s why the manosphere got so big so fast. It’s literally capitalizing on an empty market.
If you want to solve the manosphere, the solution is simple, we need to fill in the void, and fix this disconnect that’s been happening for probably 75 years now. How we go about that is complicated, and not particularly simple, but i think it’s pretty clearly evident that the problem is aimless/directionless guidance for men especially in the last 20 years. Paired with historically contradictory ideas of manhood. Men are supposed to be strong and protect the weak, but it’s hard to do that when they don’t want it, or need it.
Once this void is filled in, this shit stops happening, simple as.
THIS. EXACTY THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN.
Me: talks about issue disproportionately affecting women.
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
Lmao look at that douchebag’s comment history. Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
Its arguably worse that than comment itself. God I wish there was a male loneliness epidemic because these fuckers stopped talking.
oh no funny man on the internet yaps a lot about things.
I come here for sociological research more than anything.
Are you a teenager?
I seriously doubt you know what the word research means.
i seriously doubt you have any concrete view of politics or sociology to begin with.
I bet you can take any situation and make yourself a victim
Sooooppp you’re giving me old school internet sexism nostalgia. 😂 That 2008 energy.
Do you miss halo 3 lobbies too?
Mhm i knew it haha
yeah bro, it’s the internet, everybody has opinions.
“yeah so actually i think this is a big problem”
“yeah evidently it must be a problem, but like, this has always been a problem, and seems to be a consistent problem”
“YOU’RE LITERALLY THE PROBLEM!!!”
Lemmy User: It’s not really about women. Everyone suffers from this.
also to be clear, you are literally straw-manning me here, i’m not saying that “men have to suffer with women having an opinions” nobody cares, it is what it is, i think it’s interesting actually. You’re the one arguing that because people discuss topics that they find personally relevant is somehow “oppressing women”
I’m not saying you shouldn’t shitpost about that stuff in shitpost threads, by all means do, there’s interesting dialogue in it. I’m just saying this is a common occurrence anywhere on the internet, for any community. Hell go find a community for something as mundane as lego, you’ll find the same shit there.
Not everybody NEEDS to have their own specific issue that specifically effects them for it to be a valid or real problem. I just think this issue is far broader than most people expect it to be, ironically, i could argue you’re literally behaving the exact same way you claim i am. Because you are, and that’s exactly what’s happening.
Do i care? No, i don’t it’s the internet do whatever you want.
you mean the comments that have been downvoted to the bottom?
But the fact that the majority (or perhaps less than half now) of the responses literally prove the point I am trying to make proves my point downvotes or not.
You have to remember the people who would literally unironically make such a post that proves my post are the densest of the dense.
Most sexists, while dense, are less dense than a black hole and would not prove my point for me under such a post.
Community wise we have !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al its a women only community by women for women.
Depends. You looking for a woman’s apace…or a terf space?
I definitely think it should be an inclusive, not exclusive space
Either can describe a bar that throws out Nazis or a Nazi bar, depending on perspective.
now you’re just being dickish.
Nah I’m demanding clarity. A clear question “Do you mean excluding TERFs or excluding women” and the answer is “I want to be inclusive”. It may not be meant as such, and I’m definitely not implying that it was, but that’s exactly how a TERF would evade questioning.
A clear “Fuck TERFs” would have provided plenty of clarity, and been much shorter. Also, it would have said “Fuck TERFs”.
I regret my part in this recto-cranial inversion of a conversation
Idk man “exclusionary” is literally part of terf I don’t think there’s much ambiguity there. Fuck terfs though.
They’re also complaining about “women being excluded from women’s spaces by agents of the patriarchy posing as women”. They’re also not necessarily using “TERF” as a label. They’re using typical fascist-style “words mean whatever we want them to mean in the moment” type of stuff, hiding clear-cut positions behind pretend nuance, hence why I favour clarity.
This is transmisogynistic and misogynoir as well as plain old misogyny. Don’t ask me to explain. Just don’t do it.
blahaj.zone is a great one I’ve found. Extremely inclusive, brooks absolutely no bullshit from bad faith actors.
Is also very very queer tho JSYK
Is also very very queer tho JSYK
That could be our new Lemmy slogan.
I don’t think we can equate “queer space” with “women’s space”.
I didn’t.
Well I would definitely put blahaj down as a queer-focused space rather than a women-focused space. It’s inclusive, women are welcome, but the community there is very much about queer issues.
Key word: you.
k.
Except the Drag person, obvious troll they keep around.
People are fucking weird about drag.
Honestly there are far more worthy things to get pissed about this day and age, open a window
I just blocked them and moved on. It’s just insane it took so long for the admins to finally ban them.
Don’t call them a troll or Ada will ban you like she did me and half of 196
Good
Dragonfucker isn’t a gender, you enabling trolls makes LGBTQ spaces worse for people with real gender identities that experience real discrimination in the real world.
I bet you feel good when the people you hate get silenced though, like a drug addict chasing dopamine.
You don’t get to decide what is and what isn’t a real identity :) if that makes you mad, the ban was justified just for that,
lemmy.blahaj.zone has a decent amount of women and both their admins are women, it’s not a “women’s space” as one would describe since everyone is welcome there but it’s probably the closest thing one would describe as an instance “by women for women”. I am obligated to mention that it is a queer instance and that many of the women there are either trans themselves or strongly supportive of trans people, and do not tolerate transphobia or anti-LGBT sentiment (including refusal to support LGBTQ people) at all.
Everyone Except Fascists and/or Tankies
I think that kind of goes without saying.
I wish
Good.
As much as I appreciate the community and users at Blahaj, in my personal experience, the moderation was fairly wanting. At least a year or two ago (not sure about now), they tolerated some pretty freakish right-wing people who enabled chasers and other weird shit on their communities.
They certainly do not seem very tolerant of that now, they very commonly ban people for thinly veiled homophobia and transphobia that would normally slide on other sites. They do not even seem mildly willing to tolerate the intolerant.
Beat me to it. Their zero tolerance for misogyny/transphobia extends to who they federate with. If a server doesn’t care about its users being transphobic then it gets the axe. I remember it being a big hub bub because an instance was actually using its defederation option.
spinster exists but I think its the opposite where its antitrans
The admin behind it is also a man so its for (some) women by a man. Literally the opposite.
I thought that was mastodon. Do they have a lemmy instance as well?
We all pretend that it didn’t exist and do not acknowledge its presence; that’s the informal rule.
Like Finland if it were real.
Yeah Spinster is generally considered a hate site, and consequently is very widely defederated, even from general purpose instances like lemmy.world. Also it’s less of a Reddit alternative and more of a Twitter alternative but is technically redundant since you can do everything you did on there on the real thing instead.
This seems like a very good niche for someone willing to do it. Problematic accounts could get a site-wide ban instead of each woman having to ban someone herself.
this is a bit of how Blahaj works as I understand it, so it’s a good model - if anything I would think Blahaj might already be poised for this kind of instance-level protection of women
Niche? Bruh, they’re half of the population lmao
I would guess that most women wouldn’t feel the need to be on a woman-focused Lemmy instance for their main / only account. But, some might want an alt account to discuss certain things there.
While this won’t be the case with everyone, it was mentioned a few times in a post I made here a long while back
I’m a woman, and make no attempt to hide that fact in my posts. That said, I also don’t personally have much interest in talking about being a woman, so don’t sub to any of those places you linked.
Over on Reddit I just sort of let people assume I was male a lot of the time, since it wasn’t really relevant to what we were talking about. But from the start on Lemmy I’ve made sure to call out incorrect assumptions, downvote and give a talking to people stereotyping or being misogynistic, etc etc. And the more of us (of all genders) that make that same decision, the better things get
That’s pretty brave of you. It’s a lot of work to fight people’s assumptions, and I’m sure it results in harassment.
But, you’re right that things will never change if women don’t do that. It’s a chicken and egg thing. Nobody wants to be the first to do it, because whoever’s first gets harassed the most. But, if enough people do it, it won’t be abnormal anymore.
Good luck, and thanks for trying to make women on the internet more normal.
Unfortunately it is niche right now in the fediverse based on the stats. That could change but probably requires a different approach to achieve.
Nicole is on a mission to single-handedly skew those stats
I don’t know of any “men only” instances, the fact that it’s gender-specific is niche rather than the specific gender.
Same reason womens magazines are more popular than mens magazines and womens subreddits and websites are more popular than mens.
Maybe one day we’ll have full equality and it’ll be weird to think of “women’s spaces” as something that’s necessary. But it’s very much so today.
I don’t believe they actively intended to exclude anyone, but there is/was Dull Men’s Club, and I believe they’ve recently rebranded to “Dullsters”.
we all know there’s currently only 1 chick in the fediverse
P in that case Nicole’s DMs are the Lemmy women’s sub.
There WAS 1 chick in the fediverse.
The situation took a dark turn recently.
It’s not niche being a woman obviously. What’s niche is having a community exclude 50% of the population. Nothing wrong with it, but it is niche.
Zero women have tried to make one so far regardless of how many would use a new instance. So it can’t be all that in demand.
I think it naturally would occur if Lemmy grows in size. There’s not many people here to begin with.
There’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al we started a little over a month ago and recently hit 1000 members
Lemmy needs block lists users can subscribe to like they can on BlueSky, it would make a huge difference imo.
Can somebody explain to me a thing about anti-feminism: as a 99.5% cishet standard regular manly man man, even from an extremely cold, selfish, objective, all-for-me approach I cannot understand what I stand to gain by this. What’s the point?
Community-wise there’s !WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
unfortunately I think this is the current answer, at least on Lemmy.
unfortunately?
Meaning there isn’t an instance for women, nor are there multiple communities - as far as I know there’s just this one community.
oh, I see.
I think there’s also We are women on lemmy.ml and Women on lemmy.world?
sorry, I should have clarified that I was talking about active communities (where users regularly visit and interact)
Reddit is pretty pro-female, what is this riddiculous gaslighting ?
BTW, ALL of Lemmy+Mbin are pro-female as well.
bar yourself?
Go home & take a nap, you need it
pretty pro-female
opinion discarded
You are functioning well within your parameters, eventhough your software version is a bit outdated
Sorry I am not hip to the most recent lingo of the circles that call women females.
You’ve gotten banned from four instances already for misogyny. I wonder how long before your own instance bans you.
Oh he should be very scared…
Why did I get banned I wonder ? yes because I questioned them asked for evidence & they provided none
I linked my evidences & they were evading questions.
BTW, I blocked those instances as well. The real question you should ask is how long until your echo-chamber fades into obscurity.
Didn’t you mock ModLogs ?😂
please don’t call women “females”
don’t call women “females”
It’s fine. Call men “males”, too.
You already do that & much worse. So don’t pretend
Guilty as charged. What is my sentence for this crime?
Did I walk into a cult ? Because this is cult-like behaviour; you project & assume & demonize & attack.
Also, why is your retort so low-IQ ???
Look man, from a technical language point of view there is nothing whatsoever wrong with calling people ‘females’. However, by speaking to such people face-to-face you quickly learn that basically not one likes to be called that. The reasons are subtle, and frankly not very important. But the fact remains that calling people ‘females’ is now seen as a sign that you don’t understand or respect them - on the grounds that you are using a phrase that you’ve been asked not to use. Just say ‘women’ instead.
Don’t get technical on me
I didn’t get technical on you - that’s kind of the point. But whatever; I was just trying to help with some context. Ignore if you like.
I appreciate the help
its kinda sad how one of the biggest women’s community on the lemmy/mbin side of fedi is !femcelmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone…
i mean, it’s a great community, but yea.
Hahaha the name doesn’t do it justice tbh, *cel has connotations that femcelmemes really just doesn’t have
There seems to be a majority of males even in that community though
Idk the majority of posters there are transfems afaik, with a smattering of femboys posting as well.
Are you talking about browsers/commentors? Cause almost all the prolific posters are women, unless you’re being transphobic
I don’t know any of them and would not even recognize their usernames. Just be real, there can’t be that many women, it’s just not consistent with Lemmy’s userbase. To me that sub draws more attention from men who view it as a fantasy. Read the comments and the posts, many of them don’t seem legitimate
Erotador, totallynotjessica, kewwwi, and squirrel are by far the people who post most there and they’re all women.
My yin, I’m the one with the blahaj zone account here
every femcel community gets invaded by guys at some point. see: r/letgirlshavefun and r/femcelgrippysockjail. theres one that went private and thats keeping out the men really well (and is the only community im still on reddit for)
Well maybe if girls weren’t weird and trying to make shaving fun they wou
I don’t know how to finish this joke I’m tired. Finish it for me i give quest xp
Define “women”
You don’t know what a woman is? Or is this some kind of attempt at trolling?
I’m asking if the Reddit user is looking for cis women or is open to trans. A lot of lemmy could be considered women run if trans women are included in the request.
No one would understand this is what you intended if you use a transphobic dogwhistle for that.
I think maybe it would have been clearer to just ask this question directly and openly. The way you phrased it is the way a lot of bigots do to try to start trouble.
People who tell you they’re women.
People who cover their drinks when you’re around.
Everyone is a woman on this blessed day!
Speak for yourself.
I am one with everything, so by speaking about myself, I speak about the whole of reality. Checkmate!
beehaw.org aspire to be nice, friendly diverse and safe. But they’re more towards nice, not women. And we have lemmy.blahaj.zone for queer folks. To my knowledge, there isn’t a place aimed towards women. Maybe heehaw is the closest… Still not really a fit.
Beehaw.org is nice, Heehaw.org is the closest, Hoohaw.org is the promised land
The femcel channel need more people if you like that type of humor
