I don’t know who needs to hear this, but:

It’s ok.

You took action to remedy the immediate problem. That’s a huge step.

Now you’re grieving for the current state and how it could have gotten this bad. It’s ok to cry and accept that your past self made mistakes, when you’re able to you should forgive your past self. Take as long as you need to do that.

What comes next is getting to your feet and just fix it up a little. Doesn’t have to be a lot and it won’t all get done overnight. All that’s needed is just 1% everyday. It’s ok to take a break, it’s ok to go slower, but a little progress everyday and you’ll get there.